A Vacation to Remember or Not
by MeTuKa
Summary: **Updated chapter 7** A UC/Buffy crossover. for some reason I had to write it
1. Default Chapter

Title: A Vacation to Remember…or Not  
Author: Kim  
Summary: Takes place after Sins of Sonny Walker and who knows where in Buffy. Tara is alive, Buffy and Spike are not sleeping together. Just wrote it to get the damn plot bunny off my arse.  
Genre: Humor, comedy, humor  
Warning: What the hell was I thinking!  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, if I did Donovan and Spike would be all mine. Don't have money, so you can't sue. Clones were hurt in the making of this fic. Had to throw something in front of the plot bunny.  
Archive: If you want to, just let me know where.  
Feedback: Please and be honest. Buffy yelled up the stairs, "You have a phone call."

"Got it!" Willow yelled back, "Hello?"

"What's wrong?' Xander asked Buffy.

"Some guy calling for Willow." she replied tossing him more books, "Research, now."

"What kind of demon are we looking for?" Xander asked when he heard a scream come from upstairs.

"What the hell? Will?" Buffy yelled rushing up the stairs. Xander followed, a stake in hand.

In Willow's room, they saw her jumping up and down. "Will, what's wrong?" Xander asked looking around the room.

"What's going on?" Buffy asked.

"That, that was my cousin," Willow said excitedly, "He's had a rough time at work and he wants to come and visit. I haven't seen him in years!"

"Oookay." Buffy replied not sure where Willow's happiness was all about, "And where is he going to   
stay?"

"Oh, not here. Don't worry." Willow smiled.

"Which cousin is it?" Xander asked, "Is it the computer guy?"

"Yep, my parents would send me to his house for a month ever summer." Willow explained, "Well, until he went away to the academy."

"Um, hate to burst any bubbles here," Buffy said, "but does he know about, well the weird things that go on around here?"

"No," Willow replied, her smile disappearing.

"Don't worry," Xander said patting Willow's hand, "we'll make sure everything seems normal."

"Easy for you to say Xander," Buffy complained, "try to make the Hellmouth look normal."

"It'll work out." Willow nodded.

O'Hare Airport

"Let's us know when you get settled in your cousin's place." Monica ordered handing Cody his ticket.

Cody was having a hard time adjusting to the fact he had to fire his weapon in the line of duty. Everyone knew it was a clean shoot, but OIG had to investigate. It was routine.

Two days after the shooting, Donovan called Monica in and requested she profile Cody. In her report, she said Cody was handling everything fine. She also recommended he go on a vacation.

Donovan stood to the side and watched as Jake, Monica and Alex said their good-byes to Cody. He knew the feelings Cody was going through, sort of. He knew what it felt like to take a human life, but that was expected in his line of work. CIA, NSA and now FBI. When Cody joined the FBI, he never thought there would be a day he would have to pull his weapon and shoot it, much less take a life.

Donovan walked up to Cody and shook his hand. "I'll call you if, if we need you to come back early." Donovan said. Earlier in the week Donovan demanded from Agent Quinn, Paul Bloom's replacement, that his team needed a month off to recover from the Walker case. In fact, his words were 'Do not call my team unless it's a direct Presidential order.' His team was put through too much in the last year since he was in charge. They all needed a vacation.

"Check in every couple of days." Donovan ordered.

"So much for a vacation." Cody smirked.

"For my own sanity," Donovan smiled, "I want to know if you're okay."

"Hey!" Cody replied shocked, "You do care."

"Of course I do." Donovan huffed, hurt that his team thought he didn't care about their well-being.

"Hey Cody, isn't this the cousin whose class blew up the high school?" Jake asked, trying not to laugh as Donovan choked on his coffee.

"Blew up their high school?" Donovan repeated.

"Uh, yea." Cody replied, "I wasn't able to make it to the graduation due to work. Someone slipped acid or something to the graduating class. Long story short, they thought a huge snake was going to destroy the town and that blowing up the school was the way to kill it."

"And this is the place you want to vacation at?" Donovan asked, worried about his choice now.

"Yea, haven't seen Willow since I went to the academy." Cody smiled, thinking of his brainy cousin. "She could give me a run for the money in the hacking department. Taught her everything she knows."

"Just don't go blowing things up." Donovan laughed as Cody's boarding call was announced. "Relax and have fun."

"Get a tan." Monica laughed hugging him.

"Go surfing," Alex smiled.

They waved as they watched Cody walk pass the security check point. "Don't even think of having her hack into my file!" Donovan yelled after him. Everyone started to laugh.


	2. chapter 2

"He'll be here any minute!" Willow exclaimed running around the living room trying to make sure everything was perfect.  
  
  
"Will, chill!" Xander stated, "Everything is fine. A person can only make the Hellmouth seem so normal."  
  
  
"Speak for yourself," Buffy huffed, "I'm the one who has to do all the work to make it normal."  
  
  
"Buffy's right," Tara added, "if your cousin is smart like you, he'll figure it out soon enough."  
  
  
"Car pulling up!" Dawn squealed looking out the window.   
  
  
"Buffy, stay away from the car." Xander smirked.  
  
  
Willow couldn't hold her excitement in any longer. She threw the door open and ran towards the car.  
  
  
"Cody!" she yelled throwing her arms around him hugging him tight. She looked into to Cody's eyes and what she saw hurt her heart. "Is it really that bad?"  
  
  
"Not anymore," Cody smiled hugging her back, "seeing you helps a lot."  
  
  
Willow led Cody into the house, where he met up with five more people.  
  
  
"Cody, I want you to met the people that mean a lot to me. That's Buffy and her sister, Dawn. This is their house." Willow introduced.  
  
  
"Hi," Cody replied, "aren't you the one who started the call to blowup the high school?"  
  
  
"Um, yea," Buffy replied looking away from him.  
  
  
"I'm not sure if you remember Xander and that's his girlfriend, Anya."  
  
  
"He doesn't look like a computer geek," Anya said checking Cody out, "He's kinda cute."  
  
  
"Anya!" Xander exclaimed.  
  
  
"Uh, hi." Cody replied embarrassed.  
  
  
"And this," Willow smiled bringing Tara next to her, "this is Tara."  
  
  
"Her orgasmic friend." Anya added.  
  
  
"Anya!" Xander and Buffy yelled.  
  
  
"Hi," Tara shyly smiled.  
  
  
Everyone looked as the back door swung open and Spike ran inside smoking. Spike throws his blanket off and straightens his hair. "Right. So, what's going on?" he asked looking around. He spots Cody leaning against the counter, "Who's the whelp?"  
  
"What!" Cody huffed.  
  
  
"Uh, Spike, this is my cousin Cody." Willow introduced, "Um, Cody, this, this is Spike."  
  
  
"Spike Harris. Xander's cousin from London." Buffy quickly added.  
  
  
"What?" Xander yelled.  
  
  
"Bloody hell what!" Spike yelled.  
  
  
"They don't like to admit their family." Tara whispered to Cody.  
  
  
"I heard that!" Spike huffed watching Xander pull Buffy into the living room.  
  
  
"My cousin!" Xander seethed, "Why does Spike have to be my cousin?"  
  
  
"It just slipped out," Buffy said trying not to laugh.  
  
  
"Yea, well, it's not like I would admit if I was related to the whelp." Spike grumbled, "Why do I have to be his cousin?"  
  
  
"Willow wants Cody to think everything in normal here." Buffy explained, "Would you just go along with it?"  
  
  
Spike looked at Buffy and then to Xander. He proceeded to break down into a hysterical laughter. "Normal" snicker, "Hellmouth." more hysterical laughter. "What's in it for me?" Spike asked wiping the tears from his eyes.  
  
  
Buffy slams Spike up against the door and raises a stake to his heart. "I don't dust you." she replied.  
  
  
"Point taken." Spike smirked, "Just don't expect me to play nicey nice with the whelp."  
  
  
"Like you'd play nice with anyone," Xander snorted.  
  
  
"I'd play nice with Buffy," Spike leered.  
  
  
"So, what's everyone up to?" Willow asked walking into the living room followed by Cody and Tara.  
  
  
"Just catching up with my favorite cousin," Spike smiled throwing an arm around Xander.  
  
  
Cody could feel the tension in the room. It reminded him of when Donovan first came on the scene and he and Jake would butt heads.   
  
  
"Don't touch me," Xander grimaced tossing Spike's arm off and stalking next to Tara and Cody.  
  
  
"But we're family!" Spike protested, playing it up.  
  
  
"Ya know, my boss has these connections," Cody leaned over to Xander, "he can get your cousin's visa taken care of and get him deported."  
  
  
"Really!?" Xander smiled, taking in the thought, "I'm not even sure if he's he legal."  
  
  
"Xander!" Dawn exclaimed smacking him upside his head.  
  
  
"So, mate," Spike growled, "what do you do?"  
  
  
"I work for the FBI." Cody stated.  
  
  
"FBI?" Spike stammered.  
  
  
"Yea, you know," Xander gleefully informed him, "the government."  
  
  
"Nice chatting with you." Spike said grabbing his blanket and heading for the back door.  
  
  
Cody looked at Spike strangely, shaking his head. "Skin condition." Buffy offered as an explanation. 


	3. chapter 3

Thanks everyone for your reviews. I really want to thank Dreamy for being my sounding board for this story and giving me the ideas for the baddies. Enjoy the fic!  
  
  
Three days later  
  
  
"Do you think Cody will be okay?" Jake asked Donovan handing him some case files.  
  
  
"Define okay." Donovan asked tossing the files on his desk, "Staying with people who blew up their high school."  
  
  
"What are you doing?" Alex asked storming into his office, papers in her hand. She stepped back as Donovan tried to take them from her.  
  
  
"Just doing a little research." he growled stepping out from behind his desk.  
  
  
"You're checking his family out!" Alex accused, jamming her finger into Donovan's chest.  
  
  
Donovan looked down where Alex had hit him and back to her. "Did you just poke me?" he glared.  
  
  
"I'll do a lot more than that!" Alex huffed, "How could you check on Cody's family. I mean, it's Cody."  
  
  
"Alex is right Donovan," Monica chipped in, "what's the worst thing that can happen to him?"  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
"What the hell are we running from?" Cody yelled back to Willow. Cody turned his head to see some sort of monster chasing after them.   
  
  
"Just keep running!" Willow yelled back.   
  
  
An hour before  
  
  
It was a peaceful three days. The Hellmouth was unusually quiet, which had the Scoobies worried. Willow decided to take her cousin on a tour of the town, mostly the stores on Main Street since it was too close to sundown.  
  
  
Tara joined them on the tour. They took in a movie at Sun Cinema then made a stop at the Espresso Pump. Cody was taking in the quaintness of the small town.  
  
  
  
  
"You know," Cody said, looking around the street, "this is pretty nice town. I'm thinking, I'm thinking I should move here."  
  
  
"What?" Willow gasped, choking on her drink.  
  
  
"Move, move here?" Tara stuttered, "Why?"  
  
  
"It's calm and peaceful." Cody commented. "Maybe it's time I changed careers."  
  
  
"NO!" they protested.  
  
  
"I thought you'd be happy if I moved closer." Cody pouted.  
  
  
"Oh, it's not that," Willow protested, "it's just , well, Sunnydale is far from uh."  
  
  
"Far from normal." Tara quickly added, "Far from the big city. Look, we get movies almost six months later and we only have one coffee house."  
  
  
"Maybe I really need a change of pace." Cody argued.   
  
  
"I can give you that." a demon snarled, jumping out at Cody from the alley. The demon pushed Cody out of the way and made its way towards Willow and Tara.   
  
  
Willow stepped back and tripped over the curb. Tara stopped and tried to help Willow up. She quickly ducked out of the way as the demon tried to hit her.  
  
  
Cody jumped on the demon's back and was gaining some ground until the demon tossed Cody over it's shoulder. Ready to attack, the demon lunged at Cody. Cody tried to move away, but the demon suddenly fell to the ground. Cody looked up to see Tara holding a 2x4 in her hands.  
  
  
"Thanks." Cody gasped.  
  
  
"No problem." Tara replied helping Cody up.  
  
  
Cody looked at the thing lying on the ground. "What the hell is that?" he demanded.  
  
  
"I, I don't know," Willow stammered, "We should get to the Magic Box and tell Buffy."  
  
  
"Screw telling Buffy!" Cody yelled, "You need to call the police. Or call animal control or something,"  
Cody turned to walk away with Tara and Willow when the demon reached out and bit Cody's leg. "OW! It bit me!" he exclaimed, "The damn thing bit me!" He watched as Tara took the board and hit the demon a few more times.  
  
  
"We better hurry to the Magic Box." Tara said, taking Cody's arm.  
  
  
"We have to see if there's anything wrong with him." Willow replied.  
  
  
"Wrong with me?" Cody asked, "What's that mean? What's going on?"  
  
  
"Easy, we'll be at the store in a few minutes." Willow soothed.   
  
  
"What happened?" Xander asked meeting them at the door.  
  
  
"He was bitten by a, a demon." Tara answered holding the door open.  
  
  
"What did it look like?" Buffy demanded. "What was is?"  
  
  
"I'm not sure," Willow replied, helping Cody sit down, "It was kinda round short, stumpy legs, but long arms."  
  
  
"Don't forget it smelled." Tara added, cleaning Cody's wound, "Is Anya around? Maybe she knows."  
  
  
"No, she's out getting, uh supplies." Xander said.  
  
  
"Wait a minute!" Cody yelled. "What are you people talking about? Demons? Please, just take me to the hospital so I can get a rabies shot. And there are no such things as demons!"  
  
  
They watched as Cody hobbled his way back into the training room.   
  
  
"Oh boy, I don't think he'll come visit anymore." Willow sighed.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
"Uh, Frank, can we talk to you for a minute?" Jake asked holding a file in his hand.  
  
  
Donovan looked up from his desk with worry in his eyes. They only call him Frank when something's wrong. "What is it?"  
  
  
"Well, we did some checking on the town Cody's family lives in." Jake started to say.  
  
  
"And you were scolding me for checking on his family." Donovan accused.  
  
  
"Well, we just wanted to see what the town was like." Alex admitted, "Checking it out for maybe a vacation."  
  
  
"And what did you find?" Donovan sighed.  
  
  
"Well, it seems people disappear and reappear a lot." Jake informed him.  
  
  
"High death rate." Alex added.  
  
  
"Cody should be back calling in two hours," Donovan sighed placing his hand on the bridge of his nose,   
"I'll tell him he has to come back right away."  
  
  
"I guess we should've let Donovan check his family out," Jake whispered to Alex.  
  
  
"I told you so." Donovan smirked.  
  
  
"God, I hate it when he's right." Alex seethed.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
"I'm back." Anya smiled walking in with two bags of inventory.  
  
  
"Oh, good, we need your help!" Willow exclaimed.  
  
  
"For what?" she asked.  
  
  
"Cody was bitten by a demon." Tara added.  
  
  
"And we can't find it in the books." Buffy said slamming a book onto the counter.  
  
  
"OH MY GOD!!!" Cody yelled from the training room.  
  
  
Everyone ran to the room and they couldn't believe their eyes.   
  
  
"Oh my God!" Anya screamed, hiding behind Xander, "Kill it! Kill it!"  
  
  
"I think you guys need to explain what's going on around here." Cody whispered looking back into the mirror.  
  
  
The reflection looking back at Cody was of himself, but with long brown, floppy ears, whiskers growing around his nose and a huge brown cotton tail on his behind.  
  
  
"This doesn't look good." Willow cried. 


	4. chapter 4

"Oh my God! A bunny!" Anya panicked, shaking Xander's arm. "Kill it!"  
  
  
"I can't!" Xander replied shaking his head.  
  
  
"If you love me and want sex you will!" Anya demanded.  
  
  
"Hey!" Cody protested, nose twitching.  
  
  
"So, what's going on?" Spike asked walking into the training room. He looked over at Cody and stared. "What the bloody hell is that!"  
  
  
"An evil bunny!" Anya cried, "Spike, kill it!"  
  
  
"Anya, we can't kill it." Buffy yelled.  
  
  
"Why not?" Spike asked, stepping away, "what is it?"  
  
  
"It's my cousin!" Willow yelled at them, "He was bitten by some smelly, ugly demon."  
  
  
"Have you ever seen anything like this Spike?" Buffy asked, handing Cody a carrot.  
  
  
"Thanks." Cody sighed, taking the carrot. "Hey!"  
  
  
"Thankfully, no." Spike replied, examining Cody's tail.  
  
  
"Hey!" Cody growled, turning his tail away from Spike, "No touching the tail! I can't believe I said that."  
  
  
"Xander, take me home." Anya pouted, trying to drag Xander out of the room. "Watching that nose twitch, I'm going to have nightmares."  
  
  
"Spike, take Cody back to my house." Buffy ordered, "We'll check out more books here and call Giles."  
  
  
"Who's Giles?" Cody demanded.  
  
  
"The person who can help you." Buffy replied, urging Cody out the door.  
  
  
"I can't go out like this!" Cody protested.  
  
  
"Spike, take him through the sewers." Willow asked.  
  
  
"Sewers?"  
  
  
"How else do ya think I move around 'ere?" Spike asked, pushing him into the alley.  
  
  
Willow sighed as she closed the door. "He's never going to come back and visit."  
  
  
"Oh honey," Tara soothed, placing an arm around her shoulder and moving her away from the door, "of course he will."  
  
  
Suddenly the door exploded, Spike flying back into the room, landing against the wall with a firm thud.  
  
  
Willow ran outside with Tara following her, "Cody!" she yelled looking down the alley, "Cody, where are you?"  
  
  
"Spike?" Buffy asked, "What happened? Where's Cody?"  
  
  
Spike moaned in response and attempted to stand up. He fell into Buffy's lap and stared at her. "It was bunnies." 


	5. chapter 5

Two days later  
  
Spike was lying on the couch, watching Passions and nursing his bruised ego, when he heard knocking on the front door. "Buggar off! Passions is on!" he yelled to the door.  
  
  
The knocking continued. Upset, Spike jumped off the couch and stalked towards the door and flung it open. "I said buggar off, Passions is on!" he repeated.  
  
  
"I'm looking for Cody Forrester," the man at the door said.  
  
  
Spike looked the man up and down. He was about six one, black hair cut short and a goatee. Behind him another bloke was walking towards the door. Spike laughed as he slammed the door in his face and stalked back to the couch.  
  
  
Donovan closed his eyes in frustration and flung the door open. They haven't heard from Cody in a couple days and he had a bad feeling about this town. "I said I'm looking for Cody Forrester." Donovan repeated.  
  
  
"Didn't invite you in mate." Spike sneered, his attention never leaving the tv. Donovan walked over to the tv and shut it off. "Hey I was watching Passions!"  
  
  
Donovan grabbed Spike and tossed him to the floor. "Didn't catch your name." Donovan growled picking Spike off the floor. "Again, where's Cody."  
  
  
"Who the hell are you?" Spike growled.  
  
  
"His boss." Donovan replied.  
  
  
"His boss?" Spike stuttered, remembered this poofter worked for the soddin' government, "Why didn't ya say so mate?"  
  
  
"Hey, are you going to beat Spike up?" Xander asked hoping the stranger would. "You know you can."  
  
  
"Can I help you?" Buffy asked walking into her house.  
  
  
"That's it!" Donovan shouted at the top of his lungs. Everyone in the room turned and looked at him. "Someone is going to tell me what's going on or I'm going to kill someone!"  
  
  
"Here, start with 'im." Spike smiled, pushing Xander towards the irate agent.   
  
  
"Spike!" Buffy hissed, smacking him upside his head.  
  
  
"Where's Cody?" Alex asked, drumming her fingers against the weapons chest.  
  
  
"Hey Donovan," Jake smiled walking into the house with a redhead, "This is Cody's cousin, Willow."  
  
  
"Oh please," Xander sighed as he watched Anya and Buffy turn their attention to the new guy in the house.   
  
  
"Hi, I'm Buffy!" she smiled shaking Jake's hand.  
  
  
"Jake Shaw," he replied, confused to what's been going on in the house. "What's going on? What did I miss?"  
  
  
"Right," Spike growled walking up to Buffy and tossing an arm around her, "you're looking for the whelp too?"  
  
  
"And you are?" Alex asked attempting to open the chest.  
  
  
"I'm hers," Spike grinned, pulling Buffy closer.  
  
  
"What!?" Xander and Buffy exclaimed.  
  
  
"Hey, if I 'ave to be his cousin, you can be my girl." Spike whispered into Buffy's ear.  
  
  
"Oh, you are so much kitty filler when this is over." Buffy hissed back.  
  
  
"You're looking for Cody?" Willow nervously asked, "He, he went to Los Angeles for a few days to uh, uh, visit his parents."  
  
  
"And I can tell you that's a bunch of crap." Donovan replied backing Willow up against the wall, "Where is he?"  
  
  
"Sod off, mate," Spike growled, pulling Donovan away from her, "There's only one Big Bad here and that's me."  
  
  
"Stay out of this." Donovan warned, trying to intimidate Spike.  
  
  
"Make me." Spike challenged. If anyone was going to intimidate the Wicca, it would be him.  
  
  
"Uh, I picked up Cody's signal." Jake interrupted before fists went flying.  
  
  
"Signal?" Buffy asked confused  
  
  
"Cody has a GPS in his watch." Donovan smugly replied.  
  
  
"GPS?" Xander repeated.  
  
  
"Global Position System," Alex explained, "We can track him anywhere in the world."  
  
  
"What about other dimensions?" Anya whispered.  
  
  
"What was that?" Donovan demanded.  
  
  
"Nothing." Anya squeaked, grabbing onto Xander's arm for protection.  
  
  
"Slayer!" a demon called out, "Come out and meet your death!"  
  
  
"Son of a bitch!" Buffy muttered walking towards the back door, "Not now."  
  
  
"What's going on?" Jake asked, looking out the window .  
  
  
"What the hell is that??" Frank exclaimed joining them.  
  
  
"Hold the conversation for a moment." Buffy ordered. They watch as Buffy walked over to her weapons chest and took out a sword. "I'll be right back."  
  
  
"What's she going to do with a sword?" Alex asked looking at all the weapons.  
  
  
"Better just let Buffy handle the situation." Xander commented handing Alex a cookie.  
  
  
Everyone stepped out onto the porch and watched as Buffy took on the demon.  
  
  
"I don't ask for much," Buffy huffed as she swung the sword towards the demon, cutting it arm. "Just trying to make my best friend's cousin's visit a pleasant." Buffy ducks as the monster's claw came towards her head. "But nooo, you have to come and ruin it for me. You and your, by the way what are you?"  
  
  
"Federal Agents!" Jake and Donovan yelled, slowly moving into the yard. Jake walked right while Donovan went left, their guns never leaving the demon.  
  
  
"Get back!" Buffy yelled, "I can handle this."  
  
  
"Get on the ground!" Donovan ordered the demon.  
  
  
Seeing it has a new victim, the demon turned its rage onto Donovan. Alex nervously watches as Donovan slowly backed up. Donovan dove out of the way as the demon took a swing. On his knees, Donovan aimed his gun and shot the demon. They all watched as the demon fell to the ground.  
  
  
"You got it!" Jake yelled slowly walking towards the demon.  
  
  
"Jake, no!" Buffy yells trying to stop him.  
  
  
Jake took a few steps back as the demon jumped up and raised it's hand to him. Round disc come flying out of the demon's hand and the force sent Jake flying across the yard. Donovan tried to stand up, but the demon grabbed him by his neck and threw him towards Jake.  
  
  
"Oh, that's it!" Buffy growled, swinging her sword towards the monster.  
  
  
"What's going on?" Anya asked walking onto the porch. "Oh my God! It can't be."  
  
  
"Nobody hurts the cute fed!" Buffy seethed, cutting the demon's head off.  
  
  
"Does anyone know what that thing was?" Alex asked looking at Xander and Willow.  
  
  
"Jake! Are you okay?" Buffy asked helping him up. She started to wipe the goo off his chest and face.  
  
  
"What," Jake tried to ask, spitting out some of the goo, "what about your boyfriend?"  
  
  
"Huh? What?" Buffy asked confused, "Oh, him. We are so over. Never really happened."  
  
  
"Hey!" Spike huffed, helping Donovan up and walk towards the house. "I'm bloody right here!"  
  
  
"Again," Alex asked, "will someone tell me what the hell is going on?"  
  
  
"I know who has Cody." Anya admitted.  
  
  
"Who?" Donovan demanded, putting an ice pack to his head.  
  
  
"The Easter Bunny!" Anya whispered sitting down.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
"The Easter Bunny?" Donovan exploded, "Do you think I'm really that stupid to believe that?"  
  
  
"Well, yea." Spike laughed walking to the refrigerator and taking a mug out.  
  
  
"What was that thing that attacked us?" Jake demanded placing the towel on the counter.  
  
  
"Prutregg demon." Anya informed them.  
  
  
"What?" they all asked.  
  
"Prutregg demon," she repeated. "It shoots some kind of goo that smells like rotten eggs. If left on long enough, it could cause sterility. Good thing you washed it off."  
  
  
"Uh, yea." Jake agreed not sure where the conversation was going.  
  
  
"You said demon right?" Alex asked looking for her cigarettes.  
  
  
"I said demon." Anya sighed, "I know a demon when I see one. I was only a vengeance demon for over a thousand years!"  
  
  
"What did you just say?" Jake asked her.  
  
  
"Oh, we are in so much trouble." Xander whined.  
  
  
"You were a demon," Alex stated, looking at everyone like they were crazy, "and that thing that attacked us is a demon and the person who took Cody is the Easter Bunny."  
  
  
"Right." Anya nodded.  
  
  
"I need a drink and a cigarette." Alex muttered heading back outside. 


	6. chapter 6

Alex sat down on the porch and took out her cigarettes. "So much for trying to quit," she muttered trying to find her lighter. A lighter appeared in front of her and she looked up to see the blonde guy holding his lighter out. "Thanks."  
  
  
"That's my favorite lighter, I want it back," Spike smirked, sitting down next to her. "Spike."  
  
  
"Alex. Are they for real in there?" she asked, taking a long drag.  
  
  
"I tend to wonder about that myself," Spike mused, "especially the whelp. He has beadie eyes, ask his girl."  
  
  
"Seriously, where's Cody?" Alex asked, watching Spike place his mug next to his leg. "We're worried about him."  
  
  
"He's a grown boy," Spike commented, measuring Cody's height with hand, "well, kinda, he's a little short. Enough about 'im, tell me about you."  
  
  
Alex rolled her eyes and moved a few inches away from Spike. "Is that coffee?" she asked, picking up his mug.  
  
  
"Uh, wait!" Spike stuttered, trying to get his mug back.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Enough with the demon talk!" Donovan ordered. He couldn't believe he let Cody visit these insane people. "Tell me what really happened to Cody and maybe I won't get the police involved."  
  
  
"Like they could ever figure out what goes on around here." Xander commented.  
  
  
"What?" Donovan demanded.  
  
  
"Nothing." Xander squeaked.  
  
  
"Maybe, maybe you should sit down," Tara offered, "before we explain everything."  
  
  
"I think you better tell us now before he really gets mad." Jake commented.  
  
  
"What the hell is this!" they heard Alex yell from outside, "You're trying to kill me!"  
  
  
"Bloody hell!" they heard Spike yell.  
  
  
They all ran outside to see Alex wiping her mouth and Spike laying out on the grass.   
  
  
"What happened?" Donovan demanded, kicking the coffee cup near Jake.  
  
  
Jake bent down to pick up the cup and examined the remains inside, "There's blood in the cup."  
  
  
"We can explain," Willow smiled.  
  
  
"Alex, what happened?" Donovan demanded.  
  
  
"That crazy bint punched me in the face!" Spike replied, wiping the blood from his nose onto his hand.  
  
  
"He gave me blood to drink!" Alex exclaimed, "What's wrong with his face?"  
  
  
Jake and Donovan turned to face Spike, who was licking the blood from his lip. Spike's face was bumpy and he had yellow eyes.   
  
  
"How hard did you hit him?" Jake asked Alex.  
  
  
"Oh please!" Spike scoffed, "She didn't hit me that hard. Buffy's done worse."  
  
  
"Spike shut up!" Buffy growled "Change!"  
  
  
Spike realized he had his game face on and quickly changed back. "Bloody hell," Spike muttered.  
  
  
"I think," Donovan started to say, "I think you better start explaining now."  
  
  
"Where do you want us to start?" Anya asked.  
  
  
"From the beginning." Donovan replied.  
  
  
They all started to talk at the same time.  
  
  
"Well, it all started when I was fifteen in Los Angles and this weird guy approached me," Buffy started to say.  
  
  
"Well, we were normal high school kids until Buffy moved here," Xander spoke.  
  
  
"I was just a normal girl interested in computers," Willow added.  
  
  
"I didn't meet them until a few years ago." Tara admitted.  
  
  
"I'm not getting' involved," Spike said lighting a cigarette. "I'm just a vampire."  
  
  
"I was born over eleven hundred years ago and was a vengeance demon." Anya proudly smiled.  
  
  
"Hold it!" Jake yelled, "One at a time. What the hell is a vengeance demon?"  
  
  
"Vampire?" Alex interrupted, "You think you're a vampire?"  
  
  
"Has everyone gone insane?" Donovan asked, "Where's Cody?"  
  
  
"I've already told you that the Easter Bunny took him." Anya sighed.  
  
  
"Not this again!" Donovan yelled, "There is no Easter Bunny. Now, who has Cody?"  
  
  
"But.." Willow started to say.  
  
  
"No," Donovan said, turning towards Willow, "the Easter Bunny is not real, Santa Clause is not real and that goes for fairies and leprechauns."  
  
  
"Actually, that's not true," Anya spoke up, "Santa is real. Same goes for the fairies."  
  
  
"Leprechauns too," Spike added, "Nasty little buggars."  
  
  
"You're a vampire?" Jake asked.  
  
  
"Seriously, you're a vampire?" Alex asked.  
  
  
"Yes, he's a vampire and she's an ex-vengeance demon." Donovan sighed. "Can we wait for the trip to the mental ward after we find Cody."  
  
  
"Look, I'm only going to do this once," Spike said walking into front of everyone. He let the cigarette drop out of his mouth and onto the ground. He shook his head and vamped out in front of everyone and smiled. "See, vampire."  
  
  
"What the hell?" Jake whispered, elbowing Donovan. Donovan shook his head and walked back into the house. "Donovan? You okay?" Jake followed him inside the house.  
  
  
Alex walked up to Spike and raised her hand. Spike took a step back, not knowing what to expect from her. She reached out and traced a finger along Spike's face. "Change back." Alex asked.  
  
  
"What?"  
  
  
"Change." Alex asked again. Spike shrugged his shoulders and changed back to his human face. "Change back."  
  
  
"What?" Spike asked again puzzled.  
  
  
"Change back." she asked.  
  
  
"What!? No!" Spike protested trying to move away from Alex, "I'm nobody's soddin' play toy! Somebody get this woman away from me!"  
  
  
"I think they took it well." Xander told Buffy.  
  
  
"Uh, guys, can you come into the house?" Jake asked from the backdoor.  
  
  
"What's wrong?" Alex asked, temporarily leaving Spike alone.  
  
  
"It's Donovan." Jake said showing them where Donovan was sitting. "he hasn't said a word or moved in ten minutes."  
  
  
"Is he under a spell?" Xander asked.  
  
  
"What?" Alex asked.  
  
  
"Naw, he's just a bit stunned is all." Spike smirked, waving his hand in front of Donovan's face. "This will be worth it." Spike took a step back from Donovan and sucker punched him.   
  
  
"Bloody hell!!" Spike screamed, grabbing his head.  
  
  
"Son of a…" Donovan growled, rubbing his cheek.  
  
"Well, now that's out of the way," Spike smiled, still holding his head, "we going to find your mate or what?" 


	7. chapter 7

"Okay, explain this to me again," Jake asked, walking out of the cemetery.  
  
  
"One more time, Santa is real. The myth about him is just a myth. Tooth Fairy and other fairies are real." Anya explained again.  
  
  
"So, vampires, ghosts all things that go bump in the night exist all over?" Alex asked.  
  
  
"Yea, know this bloke in Santa Carla named David that copied my look." Spike explained. "I also know this vamp in LA named Peaches if you want to dust a vamp."  
  
  
"Spike!" Buffy hissed smacking him upside his head. Spike just laughed.  
  
  
Donovan walked along side them listening to the stories and shaking his head. "With everything that   
happens in this town, what does the police do?" he asked.  
  
  
They stopped walking and looked at each other before breaking out into hysterical laughter.   
  
  
"What do the police do?" Xander laughed, holding onto Willow's arm.  
  
  
"Those blokes 'aven't got a clue." Spike chuckled.  
  
  
"Gangs on PCP," Buffy added, "that's always the 'official' story."  
  
  
"What the hell did we get ourselves into?" Jake whispered to Alex.  
  
  
"Well, I know what I'd like to get into." Spike winked at Alex.  
  
  
"Let's go find Cody." Alex suggested, trying to move away from a leering Spike.  
  
  
"Cody's signal is coming from over there." Jake pointed at the remains of a building.  
  
  
"Of course!" Buffy yelled, throwing her hands up in the air, "I should've known they take him here!"  
  
  
"What is it about this place?" Xander asked himself.  
  
  
"What is this place?" Donovan demanded.  
  
  
"The old high school." Anya explained.  
  
  
"The one you guys blew up?" Jake asked.  
  
  
"Uh, yea." Willow squeaked.  
  
  
"You people need a watcher!" Donovan exclaimed.  
  
  
"I don't take orders from them anymore." Buffy huffed.  
  
  
"What?" Donovan asked, "I mean someone like the military."   
  
  
"Been there." Buffy said, rolling her eyes.  
  
  
"Done that." Spike added. "Don't need those gits here again."  
  
  
"The military knows all about this?" Alex asked.  
  
  
"Yea, how do you think Spike got neutered." Xander chipped in.  
  
  
"Neutered?" Jake asked, shifting his legs.  
  
  
Alex looked Spike up and down and shook her head, "What a waste."  
  
  
"Hey!" Spike protested, "I can't bite and hurt people anymore."  
  
  
"Why?" Jake asked, not sure if he really wanted to know the answer.  
  
  
"You wankers," Spike hissed at Donovan, "shoved this bleedin' chip in me 'ead."  
  
  
"Here we go!" Xander sighed.  
  
  
"Buggar off Harris." Spike hissed.  
  
  
"Hey Spike," Xander smiled, "bite me. Oh wait, you can't."  
  
  
Everyone started to laugh at Xander's response.  
  
  
  
"Sure, kick the Spike," he hissed, "I'm used to that."  
  
  
"You can't hurt anyone?" Donovan asked.  
  
  
"Nope, I get this searing pain in me brain if I do." Spike replied.  
  
  
"Good," Donovan smiled, punching Spike in the face.  
  
  
"What the hell did you do that for?" Spike asked, rubbing his cheek.  
  
  
"Pay back." Donovan hissed, "Now let's go find Cody."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
"Somebody, anybody help me!" Cody yelled, hopping around the cage. "Great! Now I'm hopping! Willow! Spike! Donovan! Help me!"  
  
  
Cody looked around the room. His cage was in the far left corner of the room. A bucket of carrots was placed with him as soon as he was locked up. He has no idea what they want with him or what they want to do to him.  
  
  
"I'm sorry," a voice said behind Cody.  
  
  
Cody hopped around and screamed when he saw what was talking to him. "What the hell are you?"   
  
  
"I'm sorry for what my son has done to you," the giant bunny said.  
  
  
"Your son?" Cody exclaimed, "Couldn't I at least been bitten by a girl?"  
  
  
"My son chose you." the bunny said.  
  
  
"Chose me, for what?' Cody demanded.  
  
  
"My successor." he explained. "he does not want to be the next Easter Bunny."  
  
  
"Easter Bunny?" Cody asked, "He's not real."  
  
  
  
  
"That's a myth, just like Santa Claus, but I don't eat the children." the Easter bunny explained. " Your transformation will be complete in a few hours. After that I will train you in the duties of being the Easter Bunny."  
  
  
"Train me!" Cody exclaimed, "I don't want to be the next Easter Bunny! I'm a computer nerd! I work for the government. I hate carrots. You don't want me to replace you!"  
  
  
"It is done." the Easter Bunny proclaimed. "You will be my replacement."  
  
  
Cody watched as the bunny hopped out of the room. "This is Donovan's fault!" Cody hissed, "He told me to go on vacation. I'm going to bite him when I become a bunny!" 


End file.
